I don't do personal posts and don't really intend to but unfortunately I am human and I have feelings so maybe they might be let out from time to time, I feel like I haven't blogged in forever but its only been since Monday.
Do you ever just feel PFFFT?? I do constantly at the moment like every little thing is getting me down, I don't ever know how much I should tell people about myself because I hate people knowing stuff that could potentially harm me. Last year I went through a lot of shit that nobody could understand it was a very tough time for me and that's one of the reasons I started blogging because I was beginning to feel like me again after nearly a years worth of pain and anger, it seriously makes me happy to know that people read my blog and take the time to leave comments you lot truly brighten my day.
I hate feeling like I do at the moment and I am trying to keep it contained, I don't want to put my family or friends back through the hell that I put them through last year think that's possibly why I have come here as my outlet to just voice what I've got to say and get it out there so it makes me feel slightly better.
I think I realise now that you cant always depend on people you thought you could because even people who have known you for the longest time can hurt you more in your time of need, everyone is getting married and having babies too which is annoying me as I keep on getting asked when I'm going to. The honest truth is I don't want to, I have the most amazing daughter anyone could ask for she really is a shining star that I wouldn't change for the world but I really don't want to have anymore or get married and I'm sick of the looks or the responses I get when I say 'ones enough' or 'not anytime soon'. I've been called selfish by so many people among other things just because I don't want these things, I think our life's have just been turned into a soap and pieces of gossip when infact we all still have to live them and to us its not gossip its reality.
I guess what I'm trying to say is your life is your life its your own don't be afraid to live it because other people don't think your doing it right, we are all called individuals for a reason and that's because we have different views and do things differently. Who wants to live in a world where we all make the right choices, some of the greatest things in life come out of mistakes! I'm trying to learn to re-live by my motto because last year I got defeated, so lets hope my PFFFT spell ends soon.
I'm sorry I rambled on about nothing that has to do with the blog but I needed to, everything will be back to normal on my next post.
Thanks for reading if you got this far :)
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